“Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching.

“Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.”
1 Timothy 4:16 (ESV)

I have been a witness to some extraordinary moves of God in my lifetime but, as said, they were extraordinary. Like many I live, bound up in life’s issues day-to-day, coping with the curve balls that speed my way. I have not been saved from life’s shortcomings, as I might be tempted to believe I deserve, so I just keep moving on.

With the arrogance and curiosity of being willful I stopped looking to Jesus and looked over the edge of the Narrow path where safety lies. Out of nowhere arose inner-conflict, a disparity between what I know to be true and what were my expectations for God’s will. As I teetered on the edge I looked, and it seemed to be a long way down. Like a party balloon that has hung too long, neglected on a wall, the life in me became limp. I had been distracted by life, from seeing my Savior’s love.

For me this has physical consequences, the signs of a stress shutdown in progress! Before my mind went into total hibernation I knew I could do only one thing to redirect my steps back to higher ground.

By prayer and a very little faith, I reached out once more to Jesus, my Rock leaving the presumptions for His will for me behind. Gradually, the preoccupation about life’s unsatisfactoriness diminished because I knew in my heart that His steadfast Love had brooded over me all the time. Inside I imagined He smiled reproachfully, as I stepped back from the edge of the abyss and once more focused in faith on His love.